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more or less

Behind everything for me today are the figures published in relation to COVID-19 on "More or Less" the BBC statistics programme. It stated that due to the late lockdown in the UK three quarters more people died than should have. A devastating figure of incompetence.
All day I have been editing a film about Virginia Woolf's novel Orlando and its relationship to Knole House. The work was commissioned by Knole but I am reconfiguring it for a new context. So hard to unravel the intertwined narratives that run to a film of four parts for one hour.  I want to make a  twenty-five minute piece from the more extensive version that seems less relevant when it isn't tied to a physical visit to the house. 
I've been thinking about my travels along the coast of Ghana in 2010 to visit all the African forts that have remained standing as silent testaments and have been re-reading my diaries. What struck me was the times people in Africa said to me  that they are not proud of their role in this history - their role in gathering people to sell as slaves to the colonialists. What is frustrating is that I can not actually recall what I am writing about - people and places.
I have also been talking on facebook about my dilemmas in how to continue as an artist in the current climate. I feel very grateful for the support and ideas that people put forward sharing what is difficult rather than promoting an idea of all is well in the art world when it clearly is not that well for the artists?